I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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