my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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