i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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