It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
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I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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