I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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