imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize