OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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