I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
