U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.