that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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