What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
