who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
