I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
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The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
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Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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