I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
