I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Congratulations! We have a period
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
