I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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