You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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