living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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