im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
