naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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