even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
