My balls are so social today.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
