I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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