Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
