Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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