i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize