I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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