sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sext me about skeletons
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
