I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
