People with herpes should wear stickers.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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