After last night, I could never be a politician.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
