Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
well you can't waste a boner
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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