Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
