You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize