Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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