Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
