someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize