have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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