Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
