Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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