Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
