apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
