i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
