He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
