In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
