i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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