Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
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You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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