You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
