i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
