I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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