my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
