And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize