Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
