He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
