Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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