If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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