I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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