yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
