How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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