My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
