So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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