Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
