i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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